a secret

I have a secret.

You might have been sitting right next to me at one time or another when my secret happened, actually. Or maybe across the room, on a different couch. Possibly on a Lovesac. Maybe you were even cuddled up with me - but I still don't think you noticed. I'm usually pretty sneaky.

Every movie I ever watch. Nearly every single one. From Rudy to The Dirty Dozen to Wordplay.

Tears. Not, like, running down your face, have to mop it up with a towel, tears. Just Hollywood tears, where they well up in your eyes and you blink or swallow them away before anyone notices. You know, the romantic kind that make your eyes look bigger and magnify the color. It's probably a shame that no one ever notices, really. Maybe then I wouldn't be single, or at least I'd have landed a movie with a big paycheck by now.

Now, if you've ever watched a movie with me, you probably don't believe me just yet. You're probably hung up on the fact that I also jump in every movie (and that was your guess for my big secret, but you were wrong, weren't you?), or maybe you're hung up on the fact that I try not to let too much yellow into my orange personality, most of the time. You might also be hung up on the fact that I detest chick flicks (which is a story for another day), so how many other movies are there, really, where you could get choked up?

Lots. All. (We can exclude Tron. I did not cry in Tron. Actually, skipped the tears in most of those aforementioned chick flicks, too.) Think about it...to be successful, all movies have conflict, resolution, a human element, and terribly convincing music. Factor in my journalistic experience (a deep interest in all things human), and voila - you have a surprising amount of emotional involvement.

If you were to make it onto the Notre Dame football team after years of effort, wouldn't you cry? How about if it was your brother who made it into Notre Dame football history, after you spent years trying to convince him that it was impossible (while yourself becoming a miner)? Wouldn't you cry?

If you were suddenly offered a chance off of a military death row, wouldn't you cry?

How about if you were in the final round of a huge competition, that meant a lot to you, and you had a chance to escape your perpetual third place finish? And then, at the last second, when you could have won, you instead got - guess it - third place - again - because you forgot a word?? Wouldn't you cry?

Don't answer that. We've had enough soul-baring for tonight.