being alive

"It does not interest me what a girl does for a living. I want to know what she aches for and if she would dare to dream to her heart's longing.

It does not interest me how old she is. I want to know if she will risk looking like a fool for love, for dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It does not interest me what planet is squaring her moon. I want to know if she has touched the center of her own sorrow, if she has been opened by life's betrayals or become shriveled and closed from fear and further pain. I want to know if she can sit with pain, mine or her own, without moving to hide it, fade it or fix it. I want to know if she can be with JOY, mine or her own, if she can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill her to the tips of her fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

I want to know if she can disappoint another to be true to herself; if she can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray her own soul. I want to know if she can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if she can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if she can source her life from God's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, hers or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "YES."

It does not interest me to know where she lives or how much money she has. I want to know if she can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It does not interest me who she is, how she came to be here. I want to know if she will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It does not interest me where or what or with whom she has studied. I want to know what sustains her from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if she can be alone with herself and if she truly likes the company she keeps in quiet moments."

-Anonymous

**

I lifted this from somewhere online sometime within the last ten years. Haha. I think it was a blogger or something ... a long comment on something? In any case, I get something of a thrill every time I read it, and it kind of reminds me of an experience I had this week, so I decided to couple them up.

One night, I was sitting up pretty late, but I wasn't tired and I was feeling quite irresponsible. I realized I don't have forever to stick around this town, and having been ridiculously responsible fairly consistently over the previous few weeks, I decided to splurge on spontaneity for once.

I was talking to a friend of mine online, and I said, "Friend, we should go on a date. Right now." He replied, "You and me?" "Yep." "What did you have in mind?" Amazing. I want more friends who will take me seriously when I say that. Anyway, so here at 2 a.m., we dropped everything and ran up the canyon to make stupid/profound comments about the moon (which, incidentally, wasn't out because of cloud cover) and then come home.

I was brimming with happiness for three days and will have more comments about different aspects of this fabulous "future spouse list" at a later date.

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"I want to know if she can be with JOY, mine or her own, if she can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill her to the tips of her fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human."