Hhhhhola, como EH-STUH??

From my sister:

So, for my Spanish homework today, I had to fill in the verbs in different sentences. These were no ordinary sentences, however. Ah, no. Welcome to the world of pick-up lines written by Spanish textbook authors. I've decided to translate these for you so you could see their craziness. Enjoy.

1. What are you doing here so early? Didn't you know the stars never come out during the day?
2. A pencil without a point cannot write, and I without you cannot live.
3. If I didn't know that angels live in heaven, I would swear you were one.
4. At breakfast, I don't eat because I think of you. In the middle of the day, I don't eat lunch because I think of your lips. In the afternoon, I don't snack because I hear your laugh. At night, I don't sleep because I am dead from hunger.
5. I would that I were a mosquito so I could place myself on your ear and tell you how much I love you.
6. You are the combustible that feeds the fire of my passion.
7. I will be without air if I cannot see you soon.
8. Rainbows follow special people like you.
9. I know that I need a heart to live, but more-so, I need someone to make it beat.
10. I don't need night to fall to see the stars because I have your visage.
11. As long as math doesn't fail and Pythagorus doesn't lie, you will be the most handsome boy on the continent.
12. Do you know why there's a hole in the ozone layer? Because your eyes looked at the sky.
13. I don't want the moon; I don't want the sun; I only want your care, for I die for love.

Ugh. Barfola. bahahahahahahahaa, who even thought of these?! Who's EVER used Pythagorus in a pick-up line? Oh man.

--

Don't worry. We'll Pythagorus your theorem. And it will be hot, and in Spanish.