________ Is Not the Answer

I'm in a haiku-writing thing with some friends, and this week I came up with the theme because I was bored at Other Job. So bored, in fact, that I wrote mad numbers of haikus on this theme:

Saying No is Not the Answer
Clearly we need you
Every second of your life
should belong to us.

Emo (is not the answer, etc.)
I start to talk as
Though I want to cut myself.
I just sound stupid.

Busy Signals
Please get call waiting
The 21st century
is now upon us.

Violence
(this one is lifted from somewhere, though not in haiku form. The idea's not original.)
It's not the answer
unless the question is: "What
is not the answer?"

Hanging Up
Goes without saying:
"the answer" comes well before
any hanging up.

Your Mother
(funny bc I still make your mom jokes.)
"Your mom" jokes are old
I've never met your mother
I'll bet your mom's nice.

High Fashion
Your bubble wrap skirt
must be recycled
from my last Fed-Ex.

Pencil Sharpening
I can tell you're bored,
Tired, antsy, or maybe
it's actually dull.

Not Buying a New Lock
I can't work this lock
Excellent security!
Except, I live here.

Boiling
Watched pots never boil.
Handy, too, because this one
can't boil (or will burn).

Patriotic Cats
This cat wants YOU! to
feed, pet, and trip over him.
Especially trip.