stupid in school...or just math, mostly

I have always had to remind myself that I am no good at math. Even when I make a slip and start to get involved with science, I have to remind myself of the fact that science is infused with math, and - in case I forgot - I am no good at math. This lesson is has always been particularly poignant when I remember it as I am trying to do a lot of math in a short period of time, usually because I neglected to do several assignments in a row and am suddenly trying to catch up.

Set I: The Grade School Phase

Exhibit A: A good place to start could be with elementary school math, when I would bring home my assignments and my mother would find all the careless mistakes and make me fix them. From the beginning, I had no patience for math.

Exhibit B: We could also start with eighth grade algebra when I tried to help a 7th grade pre-algebra student with her homework and couldn't figure it out.

Exhibit C: Or, we could go to my sophomore year of Algebra II, when I missed a few days of school for a funeral and then didn't feel like I could do any current assignments until I finished the previous ones, which were due "when you can get them in." (The end result of that one was a parent-teacher conference in February in which my teacher conceded to allow me to turn in my twelve "zero" assignments as long as I was finished before Spring Break. That was the most intense grounding of my life - homework every second I was awake - I wasn't even allowed to go to Wednesday night activities during that three weeks!)

Exhibit D: Maybe we could turn to my AP Statistics class. That class made me want to major in stat (it was a much more English-based math, but as I continually failed to note, still math). After I almost passed the AP test (a 2...so close, yet so far away), I decided that idea was a bust.

Then I proceeded on to college.

Set II: The College Phase

Exhibit A: When I was a sophomore in college, I decided to change my major from public relations to bioinformatics. My mentor teacher was cautious about giving me advice either way on this, considering he never wants to tell students they can't do something, but honestly? I think he knew I couldn't do it, haha. My parents were incredulous but I was stubborn, so off I embarked on my first semester of bioinformatics.

That semester was the hardest twelve credits of my life. My six intense credits were Chem 105 and Bio 240 (Molecular biology). My greatest moment of discovery in chemistry was the day I read in my textbook that if you superheated lime, it would glow in the dark. I tried and it didn't work at all. (Scholastic books like that should be more specific when they mean "limestone" - otherwise they get poor college kids with a pan of boiling juice and a smell in the kitchen that wakes up the most dormant of noses and the most fervent of laughter.)

Grace allowing, I passed both classes. I'll never know how it happened in 240, but the clear turning point in chemistry was the last day of class, when the teacher allowed the class to vote for test answer choices consisting of "a, b, or c", "a, b, c, or d", or "a, b, c, d, or e." We voted for "a, b, or c;" I passed the class. (You see, I needed a 36% on that final to pass the class. I had done worse on various midterms and held out very little hope for success; with this amazing class decision, my guessing odds were statistically enlarged and I called home ecstatic about my 46%.)

I changed my major.

Exhibit B: This is nothing to say of Accounting 200, Economics 110 (the week or two before I dropped it), or Statistics 221. Just know that they're over. (And stat was not terribly bad.)

May there never be a post-college phase.